Verse

Matthew 24:35-36

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, f but only the Father.

Quote

Henry David Thoreau,

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

Joke

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Verse

Matthew 22:15-22

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax a to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Quote

Chinese proverb,

"A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books."

Joke

I used to play piano by ear.

Now I use my hands.

Verse

Matthew 18:15-17

If your brother or sister b sins, c go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Quote

William Hazlitt,

"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles."

Joke

A cheeseburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.

Verse

Matthew 7:15-20

Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Quote

Elmer Letterman,

"Luck is what happens when preparation meet opportunity."

Joke

A guy walks into a bar...

and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

Verse

Matthew 7:3-5

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Quote

Aldous Huxley,

"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm."

Joke

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know...

Verse

Matthew 6:25-27

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Quote

William Hazlitt,

"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles."

Joke

When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?

Verse

Galatians 3:26-28

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Quote

Albert Einstein,

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."

Joke

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

Verse

Matthew 27:50-54

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and e went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!

Quote

William Hazlitt,

"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles."

Joke

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Verse

Matthew 26:36-38

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Quote

John Ruskin,

"The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it."

Joke

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels.

Verse

Matthew 10:28-31

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Quote

Franklin D. Roosevelt,

"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort."

Joke

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

Verse

Matthew 6:31-34

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Quote

Elmer Letterman,

"Luck is what happens when preparation meet opportunity."

Joke

Dad, can you put the cat out?

I didn't know it was on fire.

Verse

Proverbs 11:1-4

The Lord detests dishonest scales,
   but accurate weights find favor with him.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
   but with humility comes wisdom.
The integrity of the upright guides them,
   but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath,
   but righteousness delivers from death.

Quote

Frederick Wilcox,

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first."

Joke

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up.

Verse

Proverbs 8:22-31

The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, c d
  before his deeds of old;
I was formed long ages ago,
  at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,
  when there were no springs overflowing with water;
before the mountains were settled in place,
  before the hills, I was given birth,
before he made the world or its fields
  or any of the dust of the earth.
I was there when he set the heavens in place,
  when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
when he established the clouds above
  and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
when he gave the sea its boundary
  so the waters would not overstep his command,
  and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
Then I was constantly e at his side.
  I was filled with delight day after day,
  rejoicing always in his presence,
rejoicing in his whole world
  and delighting in mankind.

Quote

Channing Pollock,

"The only good luck many great men ever had was being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck."

Joke

Where do boats go when they're sick?

To the boat doc

Verse

Proverbs 4:18,19

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
   shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
   they do not know what makes them stumble.

Quote

James Clear,

"What outcomes are you trying to create? What type of life are you trying to cultivate? Stay focused."

Joke

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.

The cashier said never mind.

Verse

Proverbs 1,7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Quote

Oliver Wendell Holmes,

"The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."

Joke

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!