Verse

Ecclesiastes 12:13,14

Now all has been heard;
   here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
   for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
   including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Quote

William James, "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."

Joke

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."

Verse

Genesis 4:6,7

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Quote

Albert Einstein,

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

Joke

What’s a dog’s favorite super hero?

Labra-Thor.

Verse

Luke 23:40-43

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Quote

George Bernard Shaw,

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

Joke

Where do fruits go on vacation?

Pear-is!

Verse

Galatians 5:22,23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Quote

Jay Leno,

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

Joke

My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk!

Verse

Galatians 3:26-29

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Quote

Theodore Roosevelt,

"Courage does not mean having the strength to go on. Courage means going on when you don't have the strength."

Joke

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Verse

John 6:26,27

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

Quote

James Clear,

"Your biological age is the number of days you lived. Your psychological age is the number of thoughts you've entertained. Your sociological age is the number of contributions you've made."

Joke

Why did the god of thunder need to stretch his legs?

He was a little Thor.

Verse

John 3:16-18

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

Quote

Ernest Hemingway,
"Be humble after, but not during the action."

Joke

Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole.

He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

Verse

John 3:5-8

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

Quote

Nikki Giovanni,

"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts."

Joke

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Verse

John 1:1-5

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Quote

Tom Peters,

"Celebrate what you want to see more of."

Joke

I'm afraid for the calendar.

Its days are numbered.

Verse

1 Peter 1:13-16

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

Quote

George Bernard Shaw,

"You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul."

Joke

I tried all morning to cook up an egg-related pun, but I couldn’t crack it.

Verse

James 5:7-9

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

Quote

George Bernard Shaw,

"Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not."

Joke

I used to play piano by ear.

Now I use my hands.

Verse

1 Thessalonians 2:14

And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe.

Quote

Plato,

"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything."

Joke

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Verse

James 2:14-19

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

Quote

Jim Rohn,

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons."

Joke

I ordered a chicken and an egg online.

I’ll let you know.

Verse

Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Quote

Laurence J. Peter,

"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."

Joke

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory.

Verse

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Quote

Charles M. Schulz,

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

Joke

It takes guts to be an organ donor.