Verse

1 Timothy 1:12-14

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Quote

Nicolas Chamfort,

"Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent."

Joke

Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?

The tooth fairy.

Verse

Psalm 32:1,2

Blessed is the one
  whose transgressions are forgiven,
  whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
  whose sin the Lord does not count against them
  and in whose spirit is no deceit.

Quote

Henry Kissinger,

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

Joke

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps.”

Verse

Romans 6:5-7

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

Quote

Nido R. Qubein,

"Goals are simply a way of breaking a vision into smaller, workable units."

Joke

I used to play piano by ear.

Now I use my hands.

Verse

Romans 5:9,10

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

Quote

John Wooden,

"Make each day your masterpiece."

Joke

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

Verse

Romans 2:12,13

All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.

Quote

Confucius,

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

Joke

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

Verse

1 Thess 3:11-13

Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you. May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.

Quote

Buddha,

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

Joke

 What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Verse

1 Thessalonians 5:19:22

Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.

Quote

Warren Buffett,

"Games are won by players who focus on the playing field, not by those whose eyes are glued to the scoreboard."

Joke

Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf?

In case they get a hole in one.

Verse

Hebrews 13:1-5

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”

Quote

John Kaites,

"Work the problems of life rather than letting the problems of life work you."

Joke

What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat?

Claude

Verse

Matthew 4:9,10

“All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”

Quote

Sarah Dessen,
"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise, you'll never understand what it's saying."

Joke

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.

For example: I'm going to the beer store and I'm scared it will be closed.

Verse

1 Peter 3:8,9

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Quote

Roger Staubach,

"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile."

Joke

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Verse

James 2:18,19

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

Quote

Jerry West,

"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good."

Joke

I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married.

The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

Verse

James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Quote

John Kaites,

"Work the problems of life rather than letting the problems of life work you."

Joke

I told my doctor I could only hear buzzing.

He said don’t worry, it’s just a bug going around.

Verse

Genesis 6:1-3
When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with a humans forever, for they are mortal b ; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.”

Quote

John Milton,

"Gratitude bestows reverence... changing forever how we experience life and the world."

Joke

What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married?

Can’t elope.

Verse

James 1:2-5

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, a whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Quote

Mary Anne Radmacher,

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."

Joke

What do you call someone who enjoys Mondays?

Retired.

Verse

Hebrews 2:14-18

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Quote

Warren Buffett,

"Games are won by players who focus on the playing field, not by those whose eyes are glued to the scoreboard."

Joke

My wife found a spider in our house and told me to take it out, so I did.

We had a few drinks, pretty nice guy.